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When getting serious in a relationship, do you look ahead at the possibility of divorce? Do you examine this relationship to really determine if it is right or good for you? Do you ignore red flags when they come up?

This article highlights some easy steps and things you can do to ensure the strength and health of your relationship with your significant other.  In today’s hectic and busy world where everyone has a hand held device that many are glued and/or tied to, it is important to take time and make room for “quality time” in your relationship.  That does not mean sitting together in a room while you are both on a device, not paying attention to one another.  It means spending quality time that creates the foundation of your relationship.  Actually having meaningful conversations daily.

In this article, Dr. Skylar, a PhD a licensed marriage and family therapist, says teamwork is an essential ingredient for the sustainability of a long-term relationship.  Allowing partners to cultivate shared relationship goals and creating a meaningful shared life.  One of the simplest ways is to sit down and truly have a meal together.  That does not mean that you eat in the same room while watching tv and/or playing on your electronic device.  It means having a meal together, sharing and actually talking with one another; having an actual conversation.  Something as simple as making time to go to bed at the same time.  This doesn’t have to end in an intimate sexual interlude; but could be simply cuddling before one goes to sleep and saying goodnight and I love you before going off to sleep.

This is a great read on some simple steps about how to make your relationship stronger and healthier. 

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Jenn Sinrich of Martha Stewart Weddings and Erika Brown Photography.

As we get closer to the election...A justice in the Southern District Federal Courts in New York has directed two Trump supporters who sent out thousands of false voter intimidating Robocalls in several major cities and swing states to send out corrective robocalls with a specific script crafted by the judge acknowledging that their prior call was false and deliberately intimidated voters.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Mark Hicks, The Detroit News

How far have we come, as citizens of the world, when we cannot live our lives in peace and love who we love? I was absolutely stunned, mortified, and actually felt ill when I read this article! I cannot believe what is going on in the world. We had come so far in this country on LGBTQ rights.  While in college I had the good fortune of running the gay and lesbian student union.  I never thought I would see the day that marriage would be legalized for lesbians and gays.  Reading this article, I cannot imagine living in a country or having my own town and neighbors enforcing an LGBTQ Free Zone and constantly have to hide who I am.  I thought those days were over for all of us, but apparently not in some places in the world.

This demonstrates an absolutely backward shift in human rights.  I also fear that LGBTQ rights are being eroded in this country and there is a trend to reverse the strides forward that have been made.  We would ALL be better served with love and understanding, regardless of our personal opinions and choices.

This article shows the rhetoric that has been used in the past to demonize Lesbians and Gays.  Promotion of fear generating falsehoods that lesbians and gays promote pedophilia, child molestation and are the destroyers of families.  The truth and statistics show that these crimes are perpetrated by white straight men more than anyone else!

We cannot let the world revert to the times when people were killed for their religious beliefs or for who they are. We are not back in the Roman times when people were literally thrown to the lions and we should not revisit Nazi Germany. There has been too much hate!  The human race really needs to learn from our past history.  We need to be better people and love one another and move forward with inclusion, diversity and understanding.  Even if you do not agree with somebody then at least have the human dignity and respect to show some tolerance so that we may all coexist and live together in peace.

Story by Rob Picheta and Ivana Kottasová, CNN.  Photographs by Sarah Tilotta, CNN

I know most of you have been seeing the reports, and the reality is that the coronavirus pandemic has brought about an increase in divorce.  Experts are predicting that those numbers will continue to climb as the pandemic continues.  This may not apply to all women, however many times it is more often the rule than not, but the fact is, the majority of the time, due to the disparities in earning capacity as well as choice in child rearing, women are not as financially equipped to handle the devastation of a divorce as men.  As this article points out, it would behoove women to tread carefully and be particularly savvy during this time.  Do not take drastic action but rather plan financially for the dissolution that you see coming.  Again, in this article, a study in the Journal demographic found that both men and women are hurt economically by a divorce, but men recover more quickly due to the disparity of earning capacity and the realities of the business world.  As this article quotes women have disproportionate losses in household income and assets and increase in risk of poverty and single parenting.

Interestingly, the report concluded that for men, divorce is an economic pot hole, and for a woman it can be a cliff.  That is a very clear and visual description of the extreme differences between the economic impact for men and women.

Oh my god, I don’t know about you, but after all the this quarantining, it’s nice to get out into the fresh air and enjoy nature!  The foliage in New York State is always spectacular and it’s about to hit its peak.  If you have the opportunity, go get some fresh air in upstate New York, maybe pick some apples and have a good time. 

This article shows some of the best places and where the peaks are right now.  It also gives some great ideas on New York State Tourism websites.  Enjoy!

I, like many people, was hit hard by the loss of this national treasure and icon.  Ruth Bader Ginsburg was an incredible woman who sacrificed so much for others and our country.  Many people are not aware that RBG intended to retire in 2016 when she thought Hillary Clinton was going to win the election and wanted to turn over her seat to Hillary for the appointment of the next Supreme Court Justice.  As we all know that did not happen and a very different future arose.  What most people do not realize is that at 83 years old she chose to still serve her country and work for what she believed in, rather than give up her seat to the present administration.  That is why it will be an absolute travesty if her seat is filled before the people have an opportunity to vote (the hypocrisy of those who changed the rules to appoint Scalia’s replacement while President Obama had 10 months remaining in office!).  To me it is not about your political views or who you would choose...it is about being an American and doing the right thing.  We should all be able to voice our differences of opinion and reflect our decision in our vote without that system being corrupted and our democracy undermined by a political party. 

The notorious RBG was  a beacon of light and hope.  She not only talked about making life better for minorities and the underprivileged who are marginalized by mainstream society, but she made it her life’s mission to benefit the plight of others and secure rights and justice for all.  She worked so hard and was an exquisite and thoughtful writer.  Whether or not you are into reading legal decisions as some lawyers are, some of her decisions are just wonderful to read.  This article shares some of her shining moments and gives us all a better appreciation of who she was.

When others were enjoying their retirement (as she should have been), RBG was still working every day and very hard for her country and the rights of people she didn’t even know. 

And finally, because RBG was Jewish, we do not say Rest in Peace, but rather, let her memory and life’s work inspire and live on.

Linked article courtesy of Chris Johnson at Washington Blade, America's LGBT News Source

Statistics tell us more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, and 7 years tends to be the magic number for the average length of a couple making it before divorcing.  Obviously the first year is the honeymoon phase.  At about 4 years, tensions tend to arise and by year 7, couples are either in a fight or flee mode, where they will find a way to deal with the tensions and move their relationship forward or decide that a dissolution is where they are heading. 

Multiple studies clearly indicate communication is crucial and misunderstanding left unattended grows into resentment and contempt.  A couple really needs to decide whether they are going to work through their difficulties and make the relationship work.  You have to be willing to spend the time to work at your relationship.  Kindness, good communication and respect for one another are vital.

Michelle Buonincontri lost about $1,000,000 of her retirement savings because she did not understand the difference between separate property and what became marital property.  She used the home that was originally her own home to help an ailing parent.  However, when it came time to divorce, that entire home, notwithstanding how it was utilized to finance her parents medical needs, was considered marital property and her husband was entitled to his equitable share of same.  Once again this drives home the importance of not only understanding the difference between separate property and marital property and commingling what may have been separate into marital (that can occur consciously or not) but the need for either a Prenuptial Agreement or an Agreement that specifies with respect to certain items that you do not ever want to become marital, such as business assets as well as private or separate property that was accrued prior to the marriage.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Market Watch.  Selected picture courtesy of Michelle Buonincontri.