I hope you enjoy my interview on The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz...
Ilyssa Panitz: Let’s debunk a common myth people believe when it comes to getting a divorce. It’s going to be expensive and drain me of my life savings. Not necessarily. According to The High Conflict Institute, approximately 20% of all divorces will be categorized as “contested or contentious,” meaning yes, you will probably have to hire a litigator, which could be pricey, to represent you in your situation. However, that still leaves 80% and if you and your spouse can be open, reasonable, willing to compromise and agreeable to a fair resolution, you will save a fortune in legal bills, lessen the stress, and animosity so you can put this matter behind you faster and get on with your life.
Concetta G. Spirio is a seasoned New York based divorce attorney, mediator, collaborative trained lawyer and Member of the Board of Directors for New York State Council on Divorce Mediation. Her goal is to resolve the outstanding issues in a divorce without going to court. Concetta says, “standing in from of the Judge should be a last resort,” and she explains how couples can ease the financial burden when it comes to dissolving a marriage.
Ilyssa Panitz: As an attorney with over 30-years of experience, you say there are other ways to get a divorce that are much more cost effective than litigation. What are they?
Concetta G. Spirio: Yes, collaborative divorce which utilizes a team of professionals to help a family navigate through a divorce and Mediation, which uses an independent neutral and review attorneys to submit an uncontested divorce. Both processes submit uncontested divorce packages to the Court.
Ilyssa Panitz: People do not realize they have the power to be the architect for their own future and control the divorces process. How is this possible?
Concetta G. Spirio: Staying out of the court system permits the professionals that help the family work towards a solution that best serves the family which can be creative and is not constrained by the narrow confines of how the court works. In other words, the parties can customize and design their own dissolution and distribution of assets, custody, visitation, parenting, etc.
Ilyssa Panitz: What is the bundle method and why is it growing in popularity?
Concetta G. Spirio: The bundle method is basically bundling different types of legal services at a flat fee. For example, we have a streamlined process available in a collaborative divorce. It permits the use of flat fee structure for certain limited services and the clients in essence have the ability to choose their services a la carte.
Ilyssa Panitz: In your professional opinion, what are some other alternatives people can economize their divorce?
Concetta G. Spirio: First, they focus on the family and the parties and not an adversarial divisive process of one side “winning.” Both collaborative and mediation are client focused to help the family resolve issues in a non-adversarial peaceful manner. It does not mean there is no conflict, however the conflict is not heightened by the adversarial process but instead diffused by the team of professionals available to the clients.
Ilyssa Panitz: I would love for you to elaborate on how each one works.
Concetta G. Spirio: Mediation involves working with a single neutral; to help the couple navigate all the issues that need to be resolved for a divorce. After they come to an agreement on all issues, then they will each need to utilize a what is known as a “review attorney” for the attorney to go over and make any suggestions on their behalf for the agreement and then ultimately the uncontested divorce packet must be completed for filing with the Court. Collaborative is the use of a team of professionals: two “neutrals,” a family specialist/facilitator (a mental health professional), a financial expert and two, collaboratively trained attorneys: each party has an attorney. The team works together to help the family resolve all issues. This is more economical because the work that is done by the neutrals is less expensive. An agreement resolving all issues is reached by the parties and drafted by the attorneys and then an uncontested divorce packet is prepared and submitted to the Court. In both these processes, the parties never have to step into Court, let alone walk by a Courthouse.
Ilyssa Panitz: You also represent a lot of New York couples in the LGBTQ community who are looking to get a divorce. We know why court is never the answer for any divorce action but why is staying out of court even more important for this demographic?
Concetta G. Spirio: Same sex marriage, although securing additional rights to the LGBTQ community did not solve all the issues faced by this community. In fact, when facing a divorce, there are additional issues now raised because same sex marriage and the laws covering divorce, do not cover the relationship that may have existed for these long-term couples prior to the legalized marriage.
Ilyssa Panitz: Although the overall divorce rate has gone down, the category defined as the “Gray Divorce” has seen an uptick. Why are they more complicated to resolve?
Concetta G. Spirio: Because of the intricacies of people in retirement or soon to retire who have planned their future retirement together and now having to divide those assets and still survive in retirement.
Ilyssa Panitz: Speaking of Gray Divorces, in New York where you are based, can the non-monied spouse receive both maintenance/spousal support and social security benefits in a divorce, should they quality to receive them?
Concetta G. Spirio: The simple answer is yes. However, if there are not sufficient assets to pay spousal support from a reduced fixed income, it may be problematic. The equitable distributions of assets may need to be adjusted to compensate for spousal support.
Ilyssa Panitz: Again in New York where you practice, if the monied spouse is not employed but able and educated to work, can the courts make that individual get a job if they are responsible for child support obligations?
Concetta G. Spirio: The Court may not be able to force a person to get a job, comparable to their past earnings ability, however, they can hold them accountable for child support based upon the income they could earn and adjust their share of equitable distribution to accommodate their shortfall.
Ilyssa Panitz: What if the party responsible for child support fails to fulfill that requirement?
Concetta G. Spirio: The entitled party can get a judgment and pursue enforcement. Applications for contempt and imprisonment can also be brought.
- To learn more about “Same Sex Divorces” in New York State, check out Concetta G. Spirio’s recent interview on, “The Divorce Hour with Ilyssa Panitz,” which you can listen to here
Concetta Spirio. A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.
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