The Latest News Divorce

Although divorce rates did go up and many more cases were predicted for divorce rates to increase dramatically during Covid, Long Island divorce rates actually fell 31.6% during the first year of the pandemic.

Much of this is attributed by experts to limited court operations since the courts were essentially closed completely and then only became available through electronic filings for divorce and very limited conference or accessibility, unless you had an actual “dire emergency” that qualified for the court.  

The fact that the courts were unavailable to people and still have limited availability to everyone, has not changed the need for people to have intervention or help in their marital circumstances.

This is why the Collaborative Process is so vital.  It helps spouses and families navigate all the issues that are required to be addressed in a divorce proceeding without the necessity of the court system.  In essence, “court intervention” would only be required for the actual filing of divorce papers.  The parties could negotiate all other issues of their conflict and/or dispute, and resolve their divorce outside of court and only their paperwork would need to go to Court.

Based upon an article by Rachelle Blidner, newsday.com
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You might have read last month that the first “Golden Bachelor” couple are divorcing after three months of marriage.

Is this really a sign of the fate of marriages in later years of life or just how commercialized the “The Bachelor” program is and the end result it produces?

As with any marriage it depends on the couple.  This should be a lesson regarding how life portrayed on TV is not true real life.  “The Bachelor” has been contrived for public consumption and TV ratings and is not a reflection of true life.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Charles Trepany, usatoday(dot)com
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Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

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As a divorce lawyer, many times you can see what a couple cannot and that is what is really at the heart of the breakdown of their relationship.  It is usually not one simple issue that is the straw that breaks the camels back, but small items that develop and can accumulate over time. 

Many couples make the mistake of not communicating openly and honestly with each other and making sure that their needs and wants are expressed out loud. Too often people couched their language or alter their response based on their attempt to please the other side and not cause an argument, when in fact what they are actually doing is laying the foundation for resentments and other problems for the future.

By the time people are at the point of getting divorced, they are often unrecognizable from the couple that was once so in love that they chose to get married.  They often forget why they chose to get married and lose the appreciation and reason why they love their partner. 

It is often the small communications and paying attention to the small things.  Being kind to one another, respecting one another and communicating that will help keep a marriage alive and well. 

This is why a collaborative divorce is also the best method in dealing with couples that have reached the point of needing a divorce.  The process is focused around the individuals and their relationship and what they need to go forward, even if that means getting divorced.

Here are 5 Essential Marriage Lessons From a Divorce Lawyer Who’s Seen it All...

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Jeremy Brown, Fatherly.com.

I find this article disturbing.  It took a long time for New York to join many other states in the nation to include no-fault divorce, permitting clients to obtain a divorce without substantiating specific grounds. 

There were instances in the past where certain individuals could not get divorced because an angry spouse refused to grant them a divorce and the other spouse was unable to establish the requisite grounds.

This article suggests that the Republican Party has been pushing back on the idea of no-fault divorce being invalid and that not being in love or irreconcilable differences is not a valid reason to get divorced. 

People should be permitted to marry whom they choose and should also be permitted to obtain a divorce when they choose, regardless of the grounds.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Marcia Zug, The Conversation, phys(dot)org
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Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

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Most couples try their best to keep their relationships happy and amiable. But it isn't an unusual thing for relationships to go south. There also might be a variety of reasons why things go wrong and then eventually lead to a relationship breaking up. Turns out, the biggest reason behind a divorce happening isn't actually cheating, but this one thing that leads to bitterness and resentment which seeps into a marriage and eventually could lead to a divorce.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Radhika Agarwal, scoop(dot)upworthy(dot)com
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Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

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Matrimonial attorneys surveyed by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers have seen an increase in women paying spousal support.  Spousal support, formally known as alimony, is financial assistance and monetary aid provided by one spouse to another after a marriage ends.  The purported goal is to help maintain the marital standard of living and assist a lower earner in becoming more self-sufficient.  That is the purpose that is intended.  Historically, alimony and spousal support was predominantly paid to women.  However, in the 1980s in a case supported by the late Ruth Bader Ginsberg, it was deemed unconstitutional to unequally treat the sexes and ordered alimony to be gender neutral. 

Over the past two decades we have seen many high-profile woman from Brittany to Madonna to J Lo directed to pay millions of dollars to their exes in spousal support.  One of the most shocking decisions was Kelly Clarkson’s order to pay her ex-husband a one-time payment of $1,326,161.00 and monthly payments of $115,000.00 in spousal support until January of 2024.  In addition, notwithstanding that Clarkson was the primary custodian caring for their two children the majority of the time, she was ordered to pay $45,601.00 per month in child support. 

These are just some examples of women being directed to pay child support.  When prenups and alternative means or methods of obtaining divorce are not used, the parties are at the peril of the court and their decisions, whether we think them to be rational or justified.  Unfortunately, parties like this get stuck with the court’s verdict. 

That is why Collaborative Law for dissolution of a marriage is the way to keep you, your family, your children and your money safe. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Annita Katee, wellandgood(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

Surprisingly, psychologists have found that it's not the grand gestures or the extreme passion of a good sex life that makes a marriage last in the long term...it's the little things like taking care of one another and paying attention to all of those small things throughout the days of your lives together.  That small bit of attention goes a long way and more often than not lasts longer than the grand gestures.

In other words, grand gestures without the in-between communication, support and engagement might very well be a sign your relationship won't last.

Relationships that have open and honest communication, where there is an interest in one another, remembering the little things like saying thank you or taking care of something for your spouse...these are the elements that make a relationship endure. 

This article is a testament to interaction and paying attention to one another and having personal exchanges multiple times during the week and most definitely during the day.  Isolation and disconnect are definitely killers to any relationship.

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Minda Zetlin for Inc. This Morning Newsletter.  Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

Covid has had a dramatic global impact on our world and everyone in it, especially all the human souls that have been lost in this last year.  One of the other harsh realities that Covid has had is the difficulty it has created in marriages and relationships, which, prior to Covid, appeared to have been sound and healthy.

Being Covid restricted and limited to our home environments, many have found themselves in their marriages and significant relationships with fewer places to go and fewer distractions to occupy their time.  Couples have been forced to live almost 24/7 in the same space without any independent outside relief.  Even in the best of relationships, people need some down or alone time and distractions, plus occasions with other people they interact with other than their primary relationship or spouse. 

For many this dynamic made them aware that they could no longer ignore some of the harsh realities of their marriages and intimate relationships.  For others however, it actually created a dynamic that enabled their relationship to strengthen because they spent more quality time and chose to do inventive things together.

There is no doubt, that even for the best of marriages and couples, the immense load of stress, combined with close quarters, can make arguments more likely and irritations that would normally be ignored, amplified.  Some couples can work through and overcome obstacles and disruptions and eruptions in their relationship, while other couples simply cannot.  This is the simple truth about divorce and how divorce may come about.  It has been a lot harder during the pandemic, when things are so amplified and also the resources enabling to alleviate the stress are all but non-existent. 

As this article points out, Covid conditions have acted as an accelerant.  To make matters worse for those who need court intervention, the courts have been at times completely shut down and with very limited access for only matters that qualify as true emergencies. 

That is why being able to use alternatives, such as collaborative divorce, is essential.  In a collaborative divorce, the parties never have to step into a court room or court house, only their paperwork goes to the court house.

This article clearly outlines seven (7) reasons why couples are filing for divorce during covid and why covid has been the accelerator for some couples.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Jeremy Brown, Fatherly