The Latest News Children and Divorce

It might seem as if the term “family lawyer” would be used to describe an attorney who works for everyone in a family or a person who is a member of your family and happens to work as an attorney. Though these scenarios are possible, the term “family lawyer” is actually someone who specializes in family law. The field of family law relates to topics including divorce, custody, visitation rights, spousal and child support, division of assets in divorce, protection from abuse, and paternity issues.

Many family lawyers choose their field because they want to work with the “human side” of the law. It can be extremely challenging to practice family law because attorneys must connect with and support their clients during very emotional times in life. Family lawyers see people at their best and worst, and help these people transition through some of the most challenging phases of life. Despite its challenges, most family lawyers find a great deal of emotional reward in their work.

What Makes a Good Family Lawyer?
Like all attorneys, some family lawyers are more talented and successful than their peers. The best family lawyers have top-notch skills when it comes to negotiation and litigation. They must be good at time management and understand interpersonal communication. In addition to legal counsel, family lawyers often provide emotional support during a client’s most challenging life events. It also helps if a family attorney has an understanding of financial and real estate laws, though most attorneys have a network of expert resources at their disposal when questions arise.

As families continue to evolve, the practice of family law also changes. This includes handling the issues of same sex unions and their resulting families, for which the traditional legal system is still adjusting. Trends in the field of family law also include mediation and collaborative law, a practice that helps couples divorce and legally separate without traditional litigation. A family law attorney’s role is different in cases where collaborative law is used, as opposed to litigation. In some cases, the lawyer might even act as a mediator and work for both partners, as opposed to representing one or the other. It is important to find an attorney that you are comfortable with but has training in these areas. More divorce attorneys are representing that they will follow a collaborative approach but do not truly understand the dynamics nor have they been trained in this discipline.

Nearly 50% of all first marriages end in divorce. The odds are even greater for second and third marriages. Approximately 40% of all couples in the United States are step couples. The ongoing making and breaking of families creates complicated family ties and creates a need for legal protection as things change. Family lawyers provide the guidance and support these changing families need.

Have questions about Family Law or need help in this area, then feel free contact attorney SPIRIO at 631-277-8844.

Parenting is very difficult and doesn’t come with a manual for how to go about it.  Everyone is human and in many cases we learn from our mistakes.  Some mistakes and regrets in parenting come with the territory, although dwelling on regrets is not a healthy way of going about life.  Learning from mistakes and extracting lessons from them is how we grow and move forward in life.  This article gives a father’s perspective on how to use regrets in parenting, towards better parenting by being more constructive with your children, being more consistent, and dealing with issues that will help them in the future, such as money matters and relationships, and by taking an interest in what they care about and what they love doing.

This is a good read and I suggest it for any parent looking to gather insights about parenting.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Fatherly.

Divorce can be difficult for everyone, but sometimes parents lose sight of how truly difficult it is for children of divorce.  We all say things that we may regret, but it is critical if you are going thorough a divorce to be cautious and intentional with how you speak with your children. 

For parents who don’t mind their words, not only can it come back to haunt them in divorce court, but they can do real harm to their children and the people around them.  Especially when you are angry, frustrated and fed up, it is important to try to take a breath, reflect and think before you speak, and in some instances, truly bite your tongue.  There are certain things you should never say and once said are never truly taken back. 

This article gives some clear examples from a few different experts on things definitely not to say to your children.  Some of these are simple that you might not even think of, like “I’ll be lonely until you get back”.  In that statement you are now burdening your child with your wellbeing and happiness.

This is a good read for all parents, whether or not you are going through a divorce...but especially if you are. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Jeremy Brown, Fatherly & YourTango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of UnSplash

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 34 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

According to the Pew Research Center, there are about 30 million stepparents in the United States. Almost half of all adults have a step relationship of some kind. Stepparents and their stepchildren have special relationships. Sometimes a child is no more than “my partner’s kid,” but in many cases, stepparents and children bond as much as a child would with his or her birth-parents.

What should stepparents know about their rights if their relationship does not last?

Standing
One of the most important things about stepparents and the law is standing. Standing refers to the right of a person to seek legal intervention, in this case the rights of a non-biological parent, several factors are taken into account including:

• The stepparent’s participation in the child’s life
• The length of time the stepparent was in the child’s life
• The emotional bond between the stepparent and child, and how ending the relationship would affect the child
• The amount of financial support the stepparent provided

Being granted visitation, and even more so custody, when you are a stepparent is rare. It is becoming increasingly more frequent for stepparents to be granted visitation rights with stepchildren because blended families are more common, but it is still considered out of the norm and requires a great deal of effort on the part of the stepparent.

At present, about half of the states have laws authorizing stepparent visitation. Ten additional states expressly grant stepparents rights to seek visitation. And then thirteen more grant interested third parties rights to request visitation and categorize stepparents with these people. In the future, laws will likely address both stepparent custody and visitation with greater vigor.

Considering a Child’s Best Interest
As with all custody and visitation situations, the courts use the child’s best interest to guide decisions. A stepparent or any interested third party is more likely to be granted time with a child if he or she played a significant role in the child’s life prior to the request for visitation. Obviously, courts will show less sympathy for stepparents making bad life decisions that affect children more than in cases of birth parent in the same situation.

If you are the stepparent of a child and you are concerned changes in your relationship with your stepchild’s parent will alter your relationship with the child, you should speak to an attorney. He or she can help you determine your rights and will fight on your behalf so the court understands your role in the child’s life.

Have questions about Family Law or need help in this area, then feel free contact attorney SPIRIO at 631-277-8844.

Source:
http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/view/statistics

Divorce is often traumatic and scary for adults.  From a child’s perspective, it is magnified exponentially.  For young children this has to be devastating and concerning. 

As we have learned over time, divorce affects every child, no matter their age; even those who are adults when their parents divorce (known as a gray divorce).

Many times people think:  children can adapt, they will survive, it will be ok, without taking into consideration the real effects and intensity that a divorce may have on children.  This is a time when they need even more attention and support.  This is a wonderful article that highlights the concerns for children and how to try best to serve them during this traumatic time. 

Selected excerpt(s) and linked article courtesy of Christine Schoenwald, yourtango(dot)com
Royalty-free photo courtesy of Pixabay

Concetta Spirio.  A Compassionate Collaborative Divorce Attorney, Mediator & Peacemaker Providing The Highest Level of Legal Representation For Over 35 Years.

#Concetta #ConcettaSpirio #ConcettaLaw #SpirioLaw #Marriage #Divorce #RealEstate #Litigation #Wills #Trusts #Estates #Mediation #CollaborativeDivorce #LongIsland #Suffolk #Nassau #Islip #Sayville #LGBT

In these trying times, more than usual, people are facing difficult relationship problems and/or possibly even divorce.  This often puts children at risk.

As is human nature, people often view things only from their own perspective.  Notwithstanding that attorneys and learned counsel or counselors try to advise otherwise, many times clients do not see things from another perspective.  Here is a very well written article by the Hon. Jeffrey Sunshine that truly gives insight as to how a Judge views things when it comes to co-parenting and children’s custody.

According to the US Census Bureau, couples marrying today have a 50% chance of their marriage ending in divorce. Many of these marriages are between parents and 40% of children will be affected by divorce before reaching adulthood.

When couples with children divorce, their first priority is often the well-being of the children. Sometimes, unhappy couples even choose to stay together because they believe it is the best thing for their children. When a separation or divorce is the best option for the family, effort should be made to protect the most vulnerable members of the family. What can you do to protect your children when you separate from or divorce your partner?

Transition Phase
The process of divorce is stressful for the entire family, but it can be easier if it is handled well. Couples have the option of working together to alter their existing relationship. The inclination during a divorce is to “get rid of your partner” or pay him or her back for any perceived wrongs. Unfortunately, especially for the children, this causes more harm than good in the long run.

During your divorce or separation, do your best to protect your children by working with your soon-to-be-ex to devise an arrangement that is best for everyone. Try to be fair and try not to let your emotional wounds affect your child’s relationship with his or her parent. When possible, avoid a lengthy legal battle.

Custody and Visitation
Protecting your child from harm should be your first priority. If your soon-to-be-former partner has behaved in a manner that put your child at risk, you have every right to protect your child in the future. However, there is a difference between a child being at risk and a child spending time with someone whom you are upset or angry with. Just because your partner hurt you should not mean your child will benefit from estrangement from his or her parent. Do not put your child in the middle of any dispute or discord with your spouse or partner.

Working together to create a custody or visitation arrangement that helps your child feel comfortable and supported is the healthiest type of transition for a child. If he or she is old enough to discuss custody or visitation, take his or her feelings into account when creating an arrangement. Ideally, children will feel just as loved and supported after a separation or divorce as they did when the family was intact.

Finally, speak with your child about responsibility. It is important for children to understand they did nothing to cause the break up of the family.

No matter your personal situation, your children should be protected from the changes in your relationship with your significant other. Working with an experienced family lawyer helps you transition to separation or divorce with as little turmoil as possible. Share your concerns about your child’s safety and well-being with your attorney and he or she can help you determine the steps to take to protect your child.

If you have a legal situation concerning your family and are in need of help, call 631-277-8844 today for a no obligation initial consultation and personal service.

Source:
http://www.smartstepfamilies.com/view/statistics

I don’t know about you, but since the COVID pandemic took over our lives, I have enjoyed and appreciated nature and being outdoors so much more.  Notwithstanding that it is technically winter, it doesn’t prevent us from bundling up and enjoying a lovely walk or hike through nature. 

This article highlights 12 incredible places, right in our own New York backyard, to enjoy the magnificence of nature and get some fresh air and feel part of the natural world again.  We are fortunate to have such a gorgeous state with so many public parks.  I remember as a child going to some of these places like Buttermilk Falls and being on a trail that had special rock formations that were called the lemon squeeze and the orange twist, because it had some challenges to navigate.

Whether by yourself, with your significant other or your children, plan a trip to take some down time and get out and enjoy some of these wonderful places.