The Latest News 2019

How to protect your money before marriage...

First, you want to protect individual assets and income, especially if there are multiple streams of income.  This may include income as a result of a family trust, gifts and/or inheritances or separate incomes from different business ventures.  This principle also applies to your non-high net worth individuals that may have multiple sources of income, whether it be from more than one business or a passive stream of income or individual separate property.

Meeting with a Financial Planner is also highly recommended so that you have an understanding of what you want to accomplish with respect to your Estate Planning.  It will also give a perspective with respect to tax consequences based upon your decisions.  After you have sorted out most of these issues, the most important next step is to consider doing a Prenuptial Agreement or a "Prenup".  This legal contract between the parties before they marry sets forth how they intend to hold and divide property that becomes marital and what properties they intend to keep separate and for which their soon to be spouse will have no future claim.  Because this is a contract between two parties, each party should be represented by independent counsel, so that each party's best interests are represented.  In addition to securing and identifying income and assets and how they will be effective by a possible future divorce, it is also important to consider if one of the parties is giving up a career in order to raise a family.  If that is the case, then the Agreement should also take into consideration whether that person is entitled to and should have financial support in the form of maintenance, which is equivalent to spousal support - and for what period of time that support should exist in the event of a divorce.

Another point most couples do not consider in planning for the future and protecting against a possible divorce is what happens to the debt that is acquired during the course of the marriage, or if a party is coming into a marriage with substantial debt...that is something that also should be addressed in a Prenup.

As for celebrities or persons of notoriety who live in the public eye, there are other considerations to ensure with respect to that person's public reputation and the effects that a scandal of a divorce could have.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Sarah Wells, Business Insider, and pitbull2013 via Compfight cc.

At the beginning of any relationship, one can easily be blinded by the excitement of the new relationship and the infatuation that often occurs.  However, it is important to pay attention to any yellow or red flags that get raised by the behavior of this new partner.  Many times people are on their best behavior, but you should definitely look at a partner who speaks negatively or posts negative comments about an ex or others in their life.  If the people who know you well in your life do not approve or like this person, pay attention, they may see something you do not.  It is important to notice toxic behavior that becomes a threat to any relationship...like whether this person argues with personal attacks and negativity or plays the blame game.

It is important to notice these things before you get in too deep.  Certain things will not change, and if it is not going to work now, it won’t work later.  It is important to discuss and discover what is really important to each of you long term.  If there are difficulties, is this person willing to consider counseling as an alternative to work through issues?  Remember relationships are complex and they change over time.  It is important to give them room to breathe and grow, but it is extremely important to have a strong mutual love and an absolute trust and respect for one another.  Open honest communication is extremely important.

Take notice and take a step back to evaluate before you make a long term commitment.

Here are five things soon-to-be-married couples can learn from divorced couples.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of ABC Radio.

While this particular article does not address the specifics for a New York divorce (there is no Summary Divorce and no Arbitration for divorce in NY), it does outline the nine different types of divorce, depending upon how complicated the situation is.

Contested & Uncontested:  To obtain a divorce you must commence a lawsuit or "action" against your spouse for divorce.  If that action moves forward where the spouse or "parties" fight over every issue that must be decided in a divorce (distribution of marital assets, child custody and visitation, etc.), then this is a contested divorce.  An uncontested divorce is where the parties settle their lawsuit, or even better, use alternative methods wherein they reach an agreement on all issues before they even file for their divorce, and then these parties DO NOT step into the courthouse...instead their paperwork goes to court.

What are the alternative methods?

Mediation is a process in which an impartial third party meets with a couple to help them reach a mutual and informed agreement for the terms of their separation and/or divorce.  https://www.spiriolaw.com/Practice-Areas/Divorce-Mediation-Long-Island

In the Collaborative Process the attorneys and parties agree that they will not go to Court and will instead focus their energies on settlement. The parties can therefore control certain aspects of their divorce or dissolution, such as the cost and the timing.  https://www.spiriolaw.com/Practice-Areas/Collaborative-Law-Attorney-Long-Island

New York is now a No-Fault Divorce state, which means you do not have to allege or prove fault grounds in your action to obtain a divorce.

Finally, same sex marriage is now legal nationwide and divorce is governed by state law.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of PRFIRE.

I've been meaning to post this for quite some time...

Although this article indicates that this single mom (now 74 years old) won a sizable award for arrears of child support, it unfortunately demonstrates that Justice Delayed is also Justice Denied.  Yes, the mother finally came to terms and received money from her ex-husband (who refused to pay his child support when it was due and needed), but the fact of the matter is that both she and the child (now 52 years old) suffered for all those years without the financial support they so desperately needed.

In essence, the child lost both parents:  her dad by going to Canada and her mom because she had to work full time to support her - all because they did not have the financial means and support they deserved while the child was growing up. 

The father’s statement that he was glad to pay the mom the support that was owed 50 years ago is, in my opinion, too little too late.  Him wishing her the best in the future is an empty statement since he was not there when his child needed him most.

What are your thoughts?

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of ABC News

Before making an election on your Social Security benefits it’s important to know what your options are. Make sure you seek advice and do your own research. For most people seeking benefits now, their election will be permanent. Did you know if you are divorced you are entitled to your ex-spouse’s security benefits? Most people are unaware that notwithstanding a divorce they may be entitled to their ex-spouse's Social Security benefit. If you were married for at least 10 years and then divorce, and are unmarried at the time you apply for your benefits, you are entitled to half of your ex-spouse's benefit if it is greater than your own.  However, if you were born after 1954, whatever election you make will be permanent and cannot be changed.   This does not affect your ex-spouse's benefit nor is your election affected by their remarriage. In fact, if you are eligible, you can collect on your ex-spouse’s benefits even if he or she hasn't yet applied for them, so long as you’ve been divorced for at least two years.

However, if you are remarried at the time of your election, you are not entitled to  your ex-spouse’s benefits. You may, however, be able to collect your new spouse’s benefits if you’re at least 62 years of age and your spouse is receiving Social Security benefits. It’s also important to know if you chose to collect early you will lose a significant portion of your benefit. In the event your new marriage ends due to death, divorce, or annulment, you may again be eligible to collect on your first spouse’s benefits.  If you were married more than once and divorced more than once and each marriage was for more than 10 years you can choose which ex-spouse’s benefits to utilize so long as it is more than your own.

Approximately 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Today’s generation generally appears less interested in marriage, and for those getting married, they are choosing to getting married later. Gone are the days of people marrying in their early 20s. According to the most recent estimates, the average age of first marriage is now late 20s. Most people only start to get an idea of who they really are and what is important to them some time after 25. It is easier to find a relationship that will last if you know yourself better.

Traditionally, stay at home moms have been looked at as guaranteed to win child custody.  However, obtaining their full share of the marital pot has always been problematic.  Not withstanding the evolution of shared custody, and men being recognized as entitled and able for child rearing when it comes to the money aspects of the marriage, stay at home moms often still receive less than half of the marital pot.

The breadwinner of the family inevitably believes that they are always entitled to the lion's share of the marital assets.  The non-tangible benefits of the stay at home spouse in rearing children, taking care of all household responsibilities, and enabling the bread-winning spouse to actually increase earning potential is often forgotten, negated, and never given it’s true worth. It may be time for a more equal split of the marital assets.

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Naomi Cahn, Forbes.

No matter what age a child is when their parents divorce, a litigated divorce can not only be toxic for the family but financially devastating.  The impact to older child of a gray divorce (a divorce later in life) is surprising not less impactful because they are older.  Gray divorces have doubled since the 1990s. Whenever a divorce occurs litigation is not the answer. Not only is a Collaborative divorce less toxic it is also extremely less expensive that a highly contested divorce. 

Selected excerpt(s), photo and linked article courtesy of Julie Halpert, Considerable.com